Boyfriend and I celebrated six months together last night. The restaurant gave us some champagne even!

May is actually a big month for us…me mostly. This, and also my birthday, and also my graduation. We were kind of celebrating all those things last night, and that felt fitting.

Boyfriend has been remarkably adept at rolling with all the turns my life has taken in this semester alone. Unemployment, school, physically difficult and underpaying job, school, new job that for awhile overlapped with first job, school, horrible roommate situation, school, scheduling, 30 hour work weeks on top of school, and school. And coordinating graduation across three different families.

Around every Tuesday for the last three months I’ve had a panic attack because there was never enough time for homework, regular work, chores, or just plain quite time.

And though he’s proud of me for handling those stresses, he’s the reason I could handle them in the first place. He was someone I could go to, talk to, cry against, do homework next to. He still is, and will continue to be.

We’re a good team, and even though it’s “only” six months together, we goddam deserved that champagne.

to me.

a depressed boyfriend?

Give him what most of his brain wants: to be left alone.

Or give him what the .2% of his heart wants: a hug.

Honestly, I feel the first one is best right now, because I don’t want to force affection out of him…or in to him for that matter. How do you be there for someone without actually being there?

So for a long while I didn’t understand why people would send their significant others sexy pictures. Why would you risk that picture being seen by their friends, or going to the wrong person, or just leaking out into the internet in general.

If you feel this way as well, the only way to find the answer is to experience the desire to send your guy or girl a sexy time picture of yourself…and that has happened to me.

Short answer, it doesn’t just get Boyfriend riled up. It gets me hot too.

Just knowing that my body can have a sexual effect on someone I am attracted to is strange, empowering, and kinda satisfying.

Double standard: I don’t think I’d enjoy sexy pictures from him. I love Boyfriend’s body, but I still stand by the stereotype that women make for sexier posing. Also, I know he enjoys his dirty pics (I already sent him links to the Philip Defranco videos about the Cat Daddy Dance Battle that is unfolding). But pictures don’t really do it for me.

It was a text, so it’ll go to his phone. Low quality, plus no bits are showing. And odd side note, I also wanted to show off the thing I was wearing because I made it. It’s like this crocheted netty bikini kind of top. So yeah, I wanted to show of my body to the one person I feel comfortable doing that with. To. How. For…Something. Endsofsentencesandthings.

the one person with whom I felt comfortable sharing that content. Are you happy now?

Main point: this whole post has been narrated in my head by the voice of Philip Defranco.

And we move on…

are, yes, better than others.

I mean seriously, that’s an obvious statement. Days, although often routine, are not all identical. People need to just take it as a fact that they are going to have bad days. You’re not answering my question if you say “well, yenno, sometimes I have good days.” You’re just stating the obvious.

And as always, attitude is key. For instance, I had an underwhelming day at work, making hundreds of copies and printing out passports like a little corporate hamster. Then I went to class and gave a horrible book presentation among a session of horrible book presentations. I had to carry a shit ton of groceries home in my backpack (not being able to hold anything because I had to scoot on my scooter, which required two-hands-holding-the-handle-bar balance). And on top of that, halfway through class I realized I forgot to take some pain killers before leaving for school when the spoon that is my menstrual cramps began digging its way into my hip. Ew, she went there, talking about girl stuff. Shut up, that’s not the point. Then I came home and scraped pie cement out of the oven, while still in spoon pain, so I could bake freaking cookies that I actually have no interest in eating.

To sum up, this is kind of a shit day, kind of nothing day. So why am I in a good mood?

Clearly I have had a bad day. I just don’t care, and my apathy cancels out the bad part of my day. It can be as simple as flipping that switch in your mind and just deciding to be happy. [Micheal Buckley said that today on the What The Buck show]

Which reminds me, [], of a thing my teacher said once. “Who needs another person, why can’t you just feel in love?” I know it sounds really hippie, but it’s an interesting question. Do we need to have good things happen around us to be in a good mood? It certainly makes it easier, but we could as easily have great days and be in horrible moods. So what decisions are we making to be happy despite (and sometimes because of) our surroundings?

Even though I’m knee deep in final projects, I thought I’d distract myself with some Penny Arcade.

I’ve never read Penny Arcade before, and so to be fully committed I have decided to read the. Entire. Thing. Start to finish.

Well, not quite.

Something I’ve found that is more fun and interesting is reading serial comics backward. I’ve also done this with Avatar; The Last Airbender and M*A*S*H.

I recommend it. It’s interesting, at the very least.

Happy distractions!

It’s true, I haven’t told people I know about the existence of this little piece of internet.

Why?

Simple, because I feel more free to express myself when the people I know are not looking over my shoulder.

That’s right, this is a rant space. I vent my frustrations here, and those frustrations always involve the people in my life. I have to deal with them all the time already, I don’t want them on my case AGAIN about this pile of posts.

It’s mine.

And yours, you beautiful stranger.